The Search...

"A heart, ever searching, reaching, but never finding....

 A soul,  ever seeking, yearning, but never resting....

 A thought, ever striving, wanting, but never fulfilling...

 A life, ever planning, hopeful, but never complete........."

That heart, that soul, that thought and that life was mine before I met you. A hope to find you, an idea to fulfill my dream was what started the "Search". The search for someone who I could share my thoughts with, someone who could understand me even when I didn't express myself, someone with whom I could be myself. And then I found you, with wings sent from above, an angelic face among all mayhem. You taught me life's greatest lesson that true love is when two hearts merge and not just one heart giving away its love.

You changed my world with a blink of an eye,

That is something that I can not deny.

You just don't know what you have done for me,

You even pushed me to the best that I can be.

I know you don't feel the same way as I do, but I know my "Search" is over. I took me a long time to find you and I'm ready to wait if it takes a long time to be with you. I'll put my feelings for you in a rhyme.

My love is not written on sand,

for the waters to wash away.

It is written in my heart to stand,

all the difficulty that comes its way.

Rumblings of a Typhoid Patient :(

Thanks to the shithead college administration and their neglect of the fact that the water purifier wasn't purifying water anymore almost half my college is down with typhoid. SITians are so regularly ill that the local Manipal hospital offers 15% discount to anyone from SIT. But I'm deviating from the topic. I have got loads of negative points to write about my college but for now I'll concentrate on Typhoid. 

I certainly don't remember contracting any of of these long term sickness before. This was my first experience. Being a Typhoid patient earned me a new title "TYPHI", although I cannot lay complete claim to it as many others share it with me. This stupid typhoid has sucked all the strength out of me just as a leech sucks blood. For anyone who has read Harry Potter I'd liken Typhoid to a dementor. Once it has made contact you feel you'll never be strong again.

To regain my strength my friends force me to eat apples. I have hated apples since I was a kid. Any ailment that makes me have apples everyday certainly can't be in my good books. Add to that the fact that it has got me bedridden in my last few days at college. And worst of all it prevents me from having chicken. For all the above reasons I hate Typhoid.

Obsession of the heart...

I stay awake through the long night,

Hoping that things will get right.

I suffer inside walls of fear and pain,

Not knowing if it is all in vain.

I sit up to the sound of pouring rain,

Feeling helpless and crying in pain.

Those memories of playing  in the rain,

Make me nostalgic and increase my pain.

I feel pain, I feel sorrow

Is there any happiness, I could borrow?

I think of you every waking hour,

Like a honeybee thinks about flower.

I dream about you, every time I sleep.

Desire for your company, lies very deep.

I've fallen in love, and there is no medication,

My love for you, has become an obsession.

The Dancing Princess..

Far from the hustle and bustle of the city,

Lies this calm and serene place.

Crowned with aster and edelweiss,

And decorated by the chestnuts and chanticleers,

Lies this magnificent garden by the brook.

Butterflies race over the white and the blue,

squirrels dance around the tree trunks.

So very pure is the lively breeze,

It seems to be blessed by Aether's grace.

A sole silhouette moves in this place,

The silhouette of a young girl,

As she moves into the warm sunlight,

Her cherub like face shines like an Olympian God.

Across the hedge she dances, free of all worries,

Her spirit...never letting her dreams go,

The skies understand her hearts true calling

They tell her what to do, and she knows it too..

She just wants to  merge in with the beauty of this place,

A place where permission isn't needed to let her body go,

Where not just her silhouette is a dancer, but she is too.

somewhere she can be free, to do as she may please.

Freedom for more than just her heart, her soul and her silhouette,

she wants a shot at freedom, she wants a chance,

Freedom to live as she wishes, the freedom to dance...

The three on one battle..

"They say time is the best teacher. You never forget your lessons."
I, for one, choose to differ. I'd rather say "Life is the best teacher". Or even better, why not blame it on Fate. After all we all blame our miseries, our failures and our disappointments on either Time, Life or Fate. These hubristic villains mar our life with tragedy , misfortune and despair.

The most cruel of these taskmasters is Fate. He is an "acclaimed" sadist and a "renowned" misanthrope. Just when one begins to think that Life is fair and that Time is being good, Fate crawls surreptitiously behind you and the best-laid plans of mice and men often go astray. Fate has his own plans for each and every individual. You can hoodwink the sharpest of mortal men but you cannot deceive or defy Fate.

Life too has a dark sense of humour. You can spend a lifetime trying to understand the wicked and vicious ways of Life but you can never make head or tail of it. Life is not always fair. The book of Life has more irony than a Shakespeare play. Sometimes it's funny but sometimes the joke is on you. Life is simple, it's just not easy.

Men talk of killing Time, while Time quietly kills them. In reality, killing Time is only the name for another of the multifarious ways by which Time kills us. Time is the greatest and longest established schemer of all; his factory is a secret place, his work is noiseless, and his hands are mute. Time is the fire in which we burn.Time is the only thief we can't get justice against. Time makes fool of us again and again and laughs at his own joke.

Against such callous enemies one stands no chance of surviving. But there is one wise counselor who gives us the strength to endure all atrocities, withstand all ordeals and bear all pain. That wise counselor is Hope. It is a "three on one battle" with Hope on one side and Time, Fate and Life on the other.  And the battle continues.....

Boon in Disguise..

I tried to lock my feelings deep inside
The pain and anguish I attempted to hide
But a tormented heart is like art,
It's something with which you cannot part.

Misery and despair have consumed me,
Hope and happiness have abandoned me,
Fate seems to be laughing at me...
Smiling at the joke it has played on me

A wish,wished thousands of times,
that ended so abruptly,with lonely rhymes.
Failure is an experience,say men who are wise,
If it is true, then every failure is a "boon in disguise".

Cravings of the Heart....

I am losing control,
And I'm scared stiff,
I am so frightened,
Always in a miff.

I fight in the darkness,
And struggle with Silence,
I've concealed my true self,
It lures me to violence.

Dark is my existence
Waiting for the light,
Praying for acceptance,
Something to bring delight.

I need care and support.
I crave for a friend,
Someone who is always there,
Someone of the same bend.

Come free me from this prison,
Only you can release me.
Help me get rid off these feelings,
These feelings trying to devour me....